So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.