If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny