Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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