Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
