i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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