I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
