Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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