the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
