Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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