why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
