Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
