i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
