Kiss
Puke
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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