quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
