we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
