Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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