Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I did not marry a roomba.
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