Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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