I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
