I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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