I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My life is pants optional.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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