would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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