If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
