Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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