she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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