At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
