that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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