ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
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worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
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Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I did not marry a roomba.
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