I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Please, let me fuck your mom
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
