trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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