The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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