there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
