chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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