He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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