it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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