so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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