Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
