im drinking this country out of the recession.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize