Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
