I just made out with a guy for $7.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize