i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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