But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
