Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
