At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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