Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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