Is it normal to miss your booty call?
id be glad to
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
there is glitter all over my balls
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
