I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
