Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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