you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
