She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
