I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
it was like eating out sand paper
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
