whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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