So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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