i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize