quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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