I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
smell my finger.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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