People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
