I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
