and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
