yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
