If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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