is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
